Thankfulness

Have been MIA for the last almost 6 months as life has been taken up by ... well, life.  And though there were many times when I thought, "I should post something," those times passed and ... nothing.  But this morning, I felt this urge to post something as I have been thinking a lot about being thankful.

Yesterday, I had one of those days where life just seems to require more energy than I've got and after my chiropractor appointment, I was reflecting on one aspect of our conversation where he was encouraging me to believe in myself and love myself more.  He is not a believer so I wouldn't count on taking his counsel in full but what the Lord did do was to use that to show me how I was carrying the posture of negativity.  It was not one of those lightning flash moments since I am quite stubborn and I was at my own pity party for the rest of the afternoon.  But the Lord did not give up on me and kept bringing that to my mind along with this verse...

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

I have not been doing that.  On the contrary, I seemed to "grumble always, and complain in all circumstances."  And it is so easy to give in to complaining, especially when I think that life is not the way that I want it to be.  But the message that I am sending to others in my complaining is that the God that I proclaim to believe and find hope in is not all that good and that the things that He sees as good is not worth giving thanks for.  It was also interesting for me to reflect on how something that I was thankful for at one time (when I first got it) can slowly turn into something I complain about -- how sick is that?

In my battle to grow in thankfulness, I hope to be consciously finding things to be thankful for in my life's specific circumstances as that is often the area I am blinded to. 

• So, today, I am thankful for my job -- it is not stressful, my co-workers are kind and pleasant and to be able to work with Jason who has been patient and forbearing with me even in my moodiness and independence.  I am thankful that it is a job that is "self-contained"  and allows me to invest more in the life and ministry of the church -- as I was praying for.  It allows me to have lunches with people from church or elsewhere.  It allows me to live here financially and has helped me to think more carefully about my time and my money -- as it seems to have given me the flexibility of directing them more.

Here's a song that came to mind:

My Heart Is Filled With Thankfulness

Words and Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend

My heart is filled with thankfulness
To Him who bore my pain;
Who plumbed the depths of my disgrace
And gave me life again;
Who crushed my curse of sinfulness,
And clothed me with His light,
And wrote His law of righteousness
With power upon my heart.

My heart is filled with thankfulness
To Him who walks beside;
Who floods my weaknesses with strength
And causes fears to fly;
Whose every promise is enough
For every step I take.
Sustaining me with arms of love
And crowning me with grace.

My heart is filled with thankfulness
To Him who reigns above;
Whose wisdom is my perfect peace,
Whose every thought is love.
For every day I have on earth
Is given by the King.
So I will give my life, my all,
To love and follow Him.

To love and follow Him.

Copyright ©2003 Thankyou Music

Moving from the Land of the God Won'ts

Are there circumstances in your life that you feel would always be the same -- things that you have desired for the Lord to change for so long (maybe a persistent sin struggle or a season in life or a growth in a particular area of life) and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere and you find yourself retreating to the mindset of the "God won't"?

Recently, I was talking with a dear friend of mine, Bev, regarding this very thing -- that out of protection from disappointment, it seems safer to live in the Land of the God Won't.  Imagine having a plot of land that you've been tending and yet, nothing seems to be growing.  Wouldn't you be tempted to move to the dessert where it is actually normal for nothing to grow there?  The problem is, this land is quite barren of joy and hope.  Bev challenged me to live rather in the Land of the God Might Not.  At first glance, this land look very similar to the Land of the God Won't for it doesn't promise growth either.  But as Bev pointed out, there is hope in this land as one submits to and wait for what the Lord might do rather than being the judge of what the Lord won't do -- and then be bitter about it.

I've been reading Micah in the mornings and this tiny book in the OT is filled with so much good truth and hope (sadly, to my surprise).  Micah was living in a time where he would want the circumstances around him to change as he witnessed rampant disobedience, oppression and injustice both within and without the community of Israel.

Here are some of the descriptions of vain toil as judgment on these people in their sin:

"You shall eat, but not be satisfied, and there shall be hunger within you; you shall put away, but not preserve, and what you preserve I will give to the sword.  You shall sow, but not reap; you shall tread olives, but not anoint yourselves with oil; you shall tread grapes, but not drink wine."  Micah 6:14-15

And yet, in the midst of such dire circumstances (very apparent to be brought forth by the Lord who controls the rain and the plants and all), Micah lives in the Land of the God Will...

"But as for me, I will look to the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me. " Micah 7:7

Reason?

"Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity and passing over transgression for the remnant of his inheritance?  He does not retain his anger forever, because he delights in steadfast love.  He will again have compassion on us; he will tread our iniquities underfoot.  You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.  You will show faithfulness to Jacob and steadfast love to Abraham, as you have sworn to our fathers from the days of old."  Micah 7:18-20

When I live in the Land of the God Won't, I misunderstand God's character.  I see Him as a stingy taskmaster rather the God described here -- filled with compassion, forgiveness, steadfast love and faithfulness -- the true God of the universe, abundant in grace and mercy!

So, let's move -- out of the Land of the God Won'ts and into the Land of the God Might Not -- but maybe even to the Land of the God Will, trusting that God will do His good work in us and bring forth the very best.

Let's Cook!

In this past month, there has been some cooking spurts -- yes, they only come in spurts :)

Here are some evidences ...

Beef with Asparagus -- quick and easy.

Moroccan Chicken on Farfalle -- inspired by time in Marseille, France :)

This one, I didn't make -- but thought I should include, given my previous attempt at making German food:

Jägerschnitzel "Cafe Berlin Art" -- Sautéed center cut of pork topped with a bacon and mushroom sauce, served over spätzle and seasonal vegetables @ Cafe Berlin -- very yummy.  Their spätzle was more noodle like compared to ours -- things to aspire to :)

Tamale Pie for 100 people!!!  After hearing about how the college years were so instrumental in the growth of some of the ladies in my small group, what a joy it is to be able to take part in supporting our church in the college ministry by serving lunch -- and very thankful for the helpers!

Sorry, forgot to take pictures on the day of the lunch -- but don't worry, small group ladies, we will do it again (since now that we've done it once and it wasn't as scary as I anticipated to cook for 100 ppl -- especially as many hands make lighter work)...

Help the Envious Heart!

This past week, I have been particularly struggling (more intensely than normal) with an envious heart as I looked around and saw how the Lord has blessed those around me with marriage and children -- found myself questioning why the Lord has not saw fit to provide me with those things.  I was frustrated that the Lord seemed to have answered the prayers of so many (and so quickly) and have seemingly forgotten about me.  Last night, as I was reading an article on idolatry, I thought to myself, "oh great, if they are idols, then the Lord will never give me those things" and felt that I was being punished.  In my anger, cried out to the Lord to just take away those desires so that I wouldn't struggle any more, especially if He was not going to fulfil them.  There is part of me that wants to follow the Lord and yet, at the same time, my heart was hard and unwilling to surrender -- I felt stuck and desperate for the Lord to rescue me.

This morning, I was led to reading Psalm 73.  It spoke to me -- the envious heart.  Here are some excerpts...

v.1  Truly God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart.  (Oh, no -- what about me, who is not pure in heart?)

v.2-3 But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled, my steps had nearly slipped.  For I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.  (That is more like me.)

v.21-22 When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you.


Here is the amazing thing...


v.23-24 Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand.  You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory.


I pray that the Lord will make this the song in my heart...

v.25-26 Whom have I in heaven but you?  And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.  My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.


v. 27  But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord GOD my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.


If you are struggling with an envious heart on this day, you've got company.  Better yet, the Lord is STILL present to help us in our struggle.

A Privilege

Last night, our small group reviewed CJ's sermon on Jude 1-2 -- it was amazing to be reminded anew of the Lord's calling, loving and keeping of us.  We shared with one another the specific ways in which we were individually called -- and rescued from our mad career.  I was particularly struck by the reminder of God's love because I tend to view God as only "tolerating" me and have been seeing more clearly how this doubt of God's love leads to an absence of joy.  But God does love all of his children -- he chose us with much enthusiasm!  I AM LOVED BY THE FATHER!  I was also convicted by how I tend to look for reasons for God's love within me -- and often find it lacking -- which makes sense, although against my pride, that the only reason for God's love is Christ and that I am unworthy of His love -- it is purely by grace!  Please pray that I daily convinced of the love of my Heavenly Father that is founded in Christ and to know that those He called and loves, He will keep till the end!

"Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever.  Amen."  Jude 24-25.

This message calls for the singing of All I Have Is Christ (which we did, twice!)

After being told that there was more to CJ's message (delivered at the SBTS Collegiate Conference), I was on the search.  And I found another along with it -- a chapel message he gave on 1 Corinthians 4 -- also excellent.  I was struck by CJ's humility.  He called it a privilege that we get to read God's word and I was convicted that I don't approach God's word with that kind of gratitude, humility and reverence.  It is a privilege to be able to read God's word and to be able to understand it.  Please pray that I will be more and more amazed!

Where is our Hope?

Very blessed to be sitting under faithful preaching for 7+ years now.

This past Sunday, Mark ended his sermon pointing us to the hope that we Christians have because of Jesus's victory on the cross and on our behalf if we are his.  He shared Isaac Backus's 4 Observations on Suffering:

• manifold trials attend God's people in this world;
• these are sent because we have need of them -- to kill pride, to cure us of worldly-mindedness and love of the creature, to rouse us from our slough and to quicken our regard to eternal things;
• these temptations and sorrows continue but for a short season;
• in the midst of them, God gives His saints springs of great joy.

Reminded me of what we've been studying as a small group in 1 Peter ...

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!  According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.  In this you rejoice, though for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith -- more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire -- may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ."  1 Peter 1:3-8

The Best Valentine's Day Ever of 2011

What a joy to be able to share a fancy dinner with a group of amazing ladies!  (I wonder if part of this is my way of coping with the Low's absence and trying to mimic their fancy dinners.)

First thing, we need a menu...

Then, we need props...

 And most importantly...

... great company.

What's on the menu?

To start, Brushetta and Legumes de Saison (aka. salad)...

Main course: Steak de Boeuf accompagne d'Asperges (translated "beef steak accompanied with asparagus").

(First time making steak -- and trying out a reheating method that I googled -- so kind of dry, especially as I forgot to make a sauce to go with it). We'll do better next time. :)

To finish it off, Croustade aux Pommes a la Mode ("Apple Crisp Served Fashionably" -- with ice cream).

What is up with the big hearts?

My roommates recently watched Julie & Julia and have been fascinated with Julia Child ever since -- pretending we speak French around the house (well, Joyce can speak French -- the rest of us pretends).

The comedy does not end just because our guests have left -- it is not a show, we are in fact crazy :)

And here are some of the lovely ladies who share Monday evenings with me as we study God's Word together and pray for one another.  I am constantly amazed at how the Lord has knit our lives and hearts together in such a short time.  Thank you, Lord!
Love you all!