Help the Envious Heart!

This past week, I have been particularly struggling (more intensely than normal) with an envious heart as I looked around and saw how the Lord has blessed those around me with marriage and children -- found myself questioning why the Lord has not saw fit to provide me with those things.  I was frustrated that the Lord seemed to have answered the prayers of so many (and so quickly) and have seemingly forgotten about me.  Last night, as I was reading an article on idolatry, I thought to myself, "oh great, if they are idols, then the Lord will never give me those things" and felt that I was being punished.  In my anger, cried out to the Lord to just take away those desires so that I wouldn't struggle any more, especially if He was not going to fulfil them.  There is part of me that wants to follow the Lord and yet, at the same time, my heart was hard and unwilling to surrender -- I felt stuck and desperate for the Lord to rescue me.

This morning, I was led to reading Psalm 73.  It spoke to me -- the envious heart.  Here are some excerpts...

v.1  Truly God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart.  (Oh, no -- what about me, who is not pure in heart?)

v.2-3 But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled, my steps had nearly slipped.  For I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.  (That is more like me.)

v.21-22 When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you.


Here is the amazing thing...


v.23-24 Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand.  You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory.


I pray that the Lord will make this the song in my heart...

v.25-26 Whom have I in heaven but you?  And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.  My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.


v. 27  But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord GOD my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.


If you are struggling with an envious heart on this day, you've got company.  Better yet, the Lord is STILL present to help us in our struggle.